headshoulderbeesandtoes

[In a moment of peace at the Shinsengumi headquarters lies a certain Saitou Hajime standing at the front of said headquarters confusion. It appears that sometime in the middle of the night, someone abandoned a box of puppies nearby for the Shinsengumi to take care of but...]

Ah, Hijikata-san. [His thoughts are interrupted by the sight of a certain vice commander. It'd be best to talk to him about this situation; after all Hijikata is smart and reasonable, so he'd think of only the best advice?!?!?!] Somebody dropped off this box last night at the entrance. [Holds out the pups.] What do you suggest we do with them?

Oh, Saitou. What's wrong?

[ hopefully it's not an emergency since today has been pretty relaxed (for once). but then Saitou easily explains the situation, and once he holds out the puppies, and Hijikata leans over to take a look at the box. you can see his eyebrows knit- he's not really bothered, but mostly perplexed because of all things... ... ... puppies.

he pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. ]

What do people think we are... A daycare? [ seriously! ] Is that it? No letter or anything?

No, I'm afraid not. However, it does seem like whoever left them here wanted us to take care of them. [Police dogs???]

Perhaps we should find others to take them in but... ... ... [He looks down at the box and anyone watching him would realize that Saitou REALLY wants to keep them around, even for a little bit! Ever since Toshiz--Vice Commander #2, he's become slightly more interested in small animals and the like. Besides, they're so cute!! Let them stay!!] Should we take them to Kondo-san?

[ well this is... ... ... ]

We already take care hundreds of men, so now people think they can leave animals at our entrance like it's nothing?

[ oh no, Saitou... what's with that look at the puppies. don't tell Hijikata you like them? despite Saitous usual stoic face, you can just tell. what should Hijikata do about this? ]

But it's not like we can leave them on the street to die. [ that's just awful. ] Finding someone else to take care of them as soon as possible would be the best option since we can't just have these running around the headquarters.

[ Sorry Saitou... but ah, should they take them to Kondo-san? ] I can go tell him, but I'm not sure if I want to trouble him with something like this. Do we even have a place to keep these I wonder...

Of course... in the meantime, I don't mind letting them stay in my room. [He was the first one to come across them, so now he'll take the responsibility for them.] Maybe it's best if you help watch as well--if you're not busy, of course.

[His eyes shift back and forth from the puppies to Hijikata.] ...They seem to like you. [Have they already imprinted on Hijikata like baby ducks to their mother? Goodness, Vice Commander is really amazing!]

Shall we name them as well? [But first... they gotta go set them down in Saitou's room, and hopefully no one spots them along the way.]

[ Saitou... don't say that. Hijikata isn't going to become weak-kneed because of some puppies! he's not soft. who do you think he is??? hello? ]

No, it's fine I can help. It's the least I can do while keeping this out of Kondo-san's hair. [ because he's a busy man... Hijikata doesn't want him to worry about a few stray puppies. he'll at least give him a heads up, maybe? hmm... ]

Ah, well... Just bring them in the box to your room... I don't want any of the other soldiers finding out and getting distracted. [ wow. discreet as fuck. ]

[ then, another sigh. ] Saitou... You know what happens when you name an animal, right? You'll get attached and then you won't want to give them up.

[ he sounds like a nagging mother here... ]

Hijikata-san, with all due respect, I believe it'd be wise to give them all individual names. If they remain nameless, then it'd be more difficult to control them. If they misbehave, we can't simply rely on referring to them as "you" or "dog" otherwise it'd cause confusion. [Looks at Hijikata in the Eyes. This is the most serious Saitou has gotten so far about this matter and it looks like he'll be rather insistent on the matter.

Anyway... to Saitou's room they go. And--whether Hijikata agreed or not--he sets down the box in the middle of the room and picks up one of the puppies to let him name it.] This one, what shall he be called? [You gotta Hiji. You can't say no to TWO puppy eyes at once.]

[ shit. Saitou does have a good point. but also, how long are they expecting to keep the puppies here? even naming them would it really help? they're just puppies. do puppies ever listen. even Hijikata isn't too sure. ]

Saitou, they're just puppies... I don't think it'd make a difference. [ Saitou is usually Very Serious, but with the way he's continuously insisting... it must be that important to him. or, he's getting attached to the puppies already- which is something Hijikata is trying to avoid because they can't keep these in the headquarters! he sighs.

it looks like despite what Hijikata just said doesn't work though, since Saitou is already picking up a puppy and asking for Hijikata's suggestion.

ugh... he's gotta? Saitou, don't give him that face. well, first, Hijikata sits down and crosses his arms- not believing he seriously got dragged into pet sitting. ]

This reminds me of the time when Souji brought that cat in. [ and boy, that was a wild ride from start to finish. ] And I got so mad I told him 'what if I named a dog after you'... It even has the same coloured fur as his hair.

[ a beat. ] But... Maybe not. [ Saitou don't take him seriously, don't. ]

[Souji doesn't seem like such a bad name for this pup. It actually makes Saitou quite happy to see Hijikata just considering it, but him being himself, there's still that neutral expression on his face. Though... he won't respond to the cat thing considering it may dig up some more bad memories. Instead, he sets the dog down onto Hijikata's lap for him to get a better look.] I think he likes you the most.

[He comments, but SUDDENLY he sees... a puddle? It's forming rather quickly around where Hijikata is, so it leads him to think that maybe--?

No! How ridiculous of Saitou to even think that his Vice Commander pissed himself. But if it's not him then it has to be...] Ah, Hijikata-san. Souji likes you so much, he peed in excitement on your lap.

[ yeah let's not bring up Toshizou cat ever again. Feeling the sudden weight on his lap makes Hijikata's head snap down to look at the puppy; not actually expecting to have a puppy suddenly plopped down on his lap. hey, thanks Saitou. ]

It's probably just happy we decided to pick it up off the streets-

[ ... ... ... ... ... ...

and now the same lap... feels unbearably uncomfortable. and wet. ] Hey Souji don't- No! We're not calling him that!

[ Hijikata immediately whips his hand out and grabs the puppy by the scruff and puts him down on the tatami mat instead. ] Put him back in the box Saitou! He might piss all over the mats! They're not even trained!

[ hand on face... drags hand down face. holy shit. his stress. ] I can't give Chizuru this to wash... ... ... If she finds out.

[ he's going to lose his mind. ]

[Picks up Souji...] Souji, no matter how excited you are, it's unbecoming of a warrior to "let loose" in the Vice Commander's lap.

[There's no need to yell, Hijikata! Animals need care and patience, not scoldings from mom. With Saitou's gentle talk, the dog seems more relaxed than ever... or maybe it's just because he managed to relieve himself? Either way, everything is okay!]

Hm, if you tell her it's only spilled tea then she may believe it. Probably. I think. [If it REALLY worries him, then Saitou will clean it himself.]

In any case, we should also train them, shouldn't we? After Souji's incident, we now know that there's plenty of work ahead of us.

[Ugh. He says that like Hijikata would want to.]

[ stop! he's going to yell! the dog deserves to be reprimanded? no one DARES to piss on Hijikata Toshizou!!! NO ONE! ]

You're talking to it as if it'll understand you. We aren't calling him Souji- [ ugh, Saitou... Hijikata is going to get grey hairs at this rate. save him. SIGH. ]

No, it's going to smell. Shit... This is why we don't bring animals into the headquarters, they just make messes. [ Hijikata stands up, he's going to have to change his hakama, huh... ... ... But what if someone sees him walking back to his room with a stain Right There... ... ... There's a silence, a long pause, and Hijikata sits back down. ]

Saitou... ... ... [ a longer pause. Hijikata is Truly struggling right now. ] I don't want anyone else to see me by accident. I might need you to go to my room for me...

[ they'll get back to training Souji and doggy number 2 that needs to be named later. right now Hijikata has a piddle puddle stain to clean. ]

[These pups are so innocent, pls Hijikata have mercy!!!] Beginners often make mistakes... [What are these dogs beginners at? Life. Saitou still stands by the idea that they need patience and pure love to let the dogs flourish properly, but they'll get back to that later. For now, he has a new mission to deal with.]

I see, then where may I find a spare change of clothes for you? [He doesn't want to rummage through Hijikata's stuff like a beast! Speaking of a beast... @ Hiji.]

Will you be okay if I leave you, Souji, and the little one alone? Also... [The most important question he needs to ask. So much so that Saitou even lowers his voice in a whisper.]

Should I retrieve an extra fundoshi?

[ when would Hijikata give mercy. who the hell do you think he is? ]

Everything should be near the closet by my desk. It should be easy to find, right? [ yeah, please don't look through anything else. but, Hijikata can trust Saitou. it's not as if he's talking to Souji. ]

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I can handle two puppies. [ if he can handle the Shinsengumi, he can do anything. right.

another pause... he lowers his voice too... why are they lowering their voices? they're in a room alone and surely it's not as if anyone can hear them unless they may be deliberately eavesdropping. ]

... ... ... Yeah, that's a good idea.

[ ugh, Saitou. truly looking out for Hijikata? ] Don't tell anyone about this. [ or he will Die of embarrassment.

but once Saitou leaves... ... The second puppy may or may not be missing from the box?! and Hijikata will notice... Soon. ]

[With a nod, Saitou ventures off in the search for Hijikata's pants and... panties. He has to find them quickly before someone comes across the Vice Commander & Co.?!?!

Luckily enough, no one stops him on his way and he's able to find extra clothes exactly where he was told to look. Although, he did somehow catch a glimpse of some writing Hijikata had hidden in a drawer--haha letters he never sent out???

Anyway.]

Hijikata-san. Hijikata-saaan. [He quietly calls out when he's nearby.] I've brought what you wante--

[Wait. Wait... Wait? There's something amiss when he reaches his room again. In the scene before him, there's one... two... .... ... two?]

Sir. Where is the other dog?

[ ugh. ]

[ Anyway, Hijikata was mostly keeping an eye on... ... ... Souji (oh my god they really need to think of a better name), he ... Didn't realize the other puppy managed to tip the box over and make a run for it!?

Hijikata gets up, motioning at Souji to stay with a 'stop' hand motion. then opens the sliding door for Saitou. ] Yeah, thanks Saitou-

[ oh. oh no. Hijikata looks back at Souji, at the box, then around. ]

Did it sneak out when you open the door!? [ Immediately jumps to his feet! ] Saitou we have to find it before someone else finds it.

[ but first... ... ... he'll snatch the cleaner articles of clothing out of Saitou's hands. ] You get a head start- let me just.

[ YOU KNOW. ]

My apologies, I was careless in my haste so I accidentally let it free... [What the h... ... ... they can't let the other pup get hurt or have someone else capture it! Before he goes though:]

Yes--well. Ahem. I don't imagine it could've ventured out too far. [Looks off.]

Please come help when you're decent. [And with that, he puts himself in the mindset of a little puppy (whatever that would be) and heads off in whatever direction he thinks it could've gone in.

pls come soon Hijikata-san, Saitou can only do so much by himself.]

I'll hurry, just go.

[ ugh, Hijikata is truly stressing out here. he'll have to apologize for using Saitou's room as a dressing room, and pick up the other clothes later (he also needs to find a way to mask the ... smell, later before giving it to Chizuru to wash. sorry, Saitou).

so Saitou left to go look for puppy number 2, but here Hijikata is staring down at ... uh, Souji. he can't trust the puppy to be in the room alone... or in the box, considering how the other one tipped it over so easily. with a sigh, he picks up the puppy and opens the sliding door. ]

Saitou, have you found it yet?!

[ it shouldn't be that hard, right!? ] Tch, it's just a puppy, where could it have gone... ... Saitou, any leads?

[ it's snowing outside, so maybe they can find puppy paw prints if it ventured out into the snow.. ]

There are small paw prints in the snow but... [Where is the dog?!?! He only just noticed them now, but considering that it was only a pupper, there's no way it could've gone so far!]

It seems like we're dealing with a high-class dog, Hijikata-san. [Very skilled indeed, but putting that aside:] I'm worried that something will happen if we don't find it soon.

[It's only a baby!! It could catch a cold or get buried deep in the snow or--] The prints will lead us somewhere, I'm sure. We just need to hurry!

[Also, remembering his incident with Souji earlier...]

Shall I hold Souji for you until we find the other one? [Can't afford another happy accident...........]

High-class...

[ Hijikata narrows his eyes at Saitou. this is ridiculous. ]

Cover up the paw prints while we're at it, or people will get suspicious. [ a pause... ... ... and he gives Saitou the Souji Pup. ]

Thanks... [ yeah. no more piddling on him. he doesn't want to go through another hakama, or worse: an entire kimono. but anyway, Hijikata will make a rush to follow the little puppy prints in the snow (on purposely stepping over them so they're covered up) and... damn, where's that puppy!?

but look! there's a pile of now and it looks like the puppy is trying to dig through it!? you can see it's rump sticking out and it's tail wagging excitedly as it tries, with much determination, to make a cozy snow den. ]

Saitou! Over here! [ Hijikata runs over to snatch the puppy up. you're not running away again puppy number 2... no. ]

[With lil Souji in his arms, Saitou starts to cover up the paw prints Hijikata missed with his foot before catching back up. Of course, he needs to be careful not to run too fast or he'll cause Souji stress!]

Ah, it's a good thing we got here before it managed to dig its way through. [That would've been super dangerous! Saitou would've also been very saddened if something were to happen to the other pup, so he scolds it for running away without supervision.]

You're our responsibility now, so please try not to run off on your own. Something like that... it's very similar to Yukimura. [Looks back to Hijikata. They've found a new name for it...] Well, let's go back before someone finds us.

[Nod nod. That's enough excitement for one day.]

[ SAITOU... ]

Hey, wait a minute, Saitou.

[ Hijikata furrows his eyebrows and stares at him, in disbelief almost- how can Saitou just make these decisions as if it's nothing?! ]

We can't name the puppy that, and we still can't name the other one Souji. Did you not learn from last time? [ looks left. looks right. well, no one seems to be around- safe! Hijikata then lowers his voice. ]

What if they find out?

[Tilts head.]

I hardly doubt they'd mind. Besides, didn't you want to name a dog after Souji? [HMMMM HIJIKATA-SAN?]

Do you have other suggestions? [Saitou doesn't see you helping! Pull your own weight, smh.] Based on their personalities, I think "Souji" and "Yukimura" are very appropriate.

[Honestly, what could go wrong?? Well, forgetting about the Toshizou incident, absolutely nothing!] At least we can't change Souji's name. It looks like he's already accustomed to it.

I said 'what if'. If! I wasn't even being serious?!

[ Saitou, look at what you've done. look!!! with a hand over his face all Hijikata can do is shake his head. then, he drops his hand to his side. he looks down at Yukimura puppy that's in his other arm, then back at Saitou. no, he really doesn't have any other ideas... why was Saitou so quick on the draw to name them after those two out of all people?

anyway, he feels a shiver down his spine and remembers that it's snowing outside- it's cold. ]

We should just- [ uh oh, he hears talking! the headquarters is starting to stir!? he was sure most people would stay inside because it's pretty cold. maybe they want to see the snow... So Hijikata has to hold Yukimura Pup close to his chest, hoping his sleeves will cover the puppy ... sort of discreetly. ] Shit, just our luck. Hurry back to your room before we get caught- go. Go!

I apologize for misunderstanding but-- [At that moment, he also hears other starting to move about the headquarters. Damn! It'd be bad if they catch Saitou and Hijikata like this, so he'll follow in the latter's lead and cover Souji pup with his sleeve before rushing back to his room.

The sight of the two most serious fellows in the Shinsengumi running around like Fools is something to behold... good thing no one happened to see it (hopefully) and they're able to reach Saitou's room quick and easy. Ugh. It's relaxing time.]

Urgh... [When he shuts the door, Saitou crinkles up his nose in Disgust.] It smells like pee in here...

[ ugh he smells it too. this is why he never wanted dogs in the HQ! well, first he has to put down the newly named Yukimura puppy in the box (please don't tip it over again). ]

Don't worry. [ he walks over to pick up the dirty clothes and just... stares down at them. okay. he has to do something about this. ]

I guess I have to go let this soak. Maybe the smell will be gone by the time Chizuru has to do laundry. [ he can only hope. he could wash it himself, but that would also mean leaving Saitou alone with both of the puppies. he just can't multitask at a time like this- even though he wish he could! ]

Saitou, can I make sure you can watch them? We can't have them escaping again.

Of course, I'll do my best.

[Cue Saitou going to stare intensely at the puppies to make sure they don't do anything. Whether Hijikata leaves or not, he doesn't notice as he puts all of his concentration into Staring and Watching--maybe even freaking the dogs out a little.

Well, this obviously can't last for too long. After he gets tired of boring a hole through their souls, Saitou looks away for a breather.

When he looks back--

?

???

??!!!!?!?!?!?!??!??]

S-souji! Get off of Yukimura this instant!

[ well, he can trust Saitou to at least not let the pups out of his sight while Hijikata leaves momentarily. the headquarters has begun to stir more, which means more people were out and about. taking note of that, Saitou and Hijikata will have to be extra quiet about these puppies from now one. hopefully, if everything goes smoothly maybe they can get them a home soon!? that is, if Saitou is willing to give them up- that's what Hijikata is worried about!

anyway... it doesn't take too long to go to the room with all the laundry buckets and drop his dirty clothes into one filled with water. ugh... now he just has to hope that nothing is noticeable, Hijikata does not want to be questioned about a "mysterious stain" or a "weird smell" because he'll never live that down.

well, he'll get to that hurdle if it comes. as of right now, Hijikata returns to assist Saitou once more and he hears...-?!

Hijikata immediately slides open the door. ]

Saitou, is something wrong-

[ pause.

silence.

stares... ... ... oh my god. oh my god? he almost couldn't believe. it even takes him a moment to register all this. then he finally snaps out at the pups. ] W...What are you doing!? Souji!! [ ugh he still doesn't want to call him That. ] Get off this instant!!

[ if Hijikata's yelling doesn't scare the poor lil pups, he'll immediately stomp his way over to the pair and pick up Souji pup by the scruff. with a free hand Hijikata just... he covers his face. slowly dragging it down, he's just so... ... ... why does this happen... ]

Saitou...

[NOOOOOOOOOOOO Hijikata returned at the worst possible time! Saitou whips his head around to meet the very... repulsed Vice Commander, and the slight embarrassment that comes with just the image of the two dogs--

Well, it brings the lightest of blushes to his cheeks Not to mention he feels like he FAILED Hijikata.

Cough.]

Hijikata-san... [Holds up arms in defense] There's no need to be upset. Please lower your voice or others may hear! [AAAAAA!! He's gonna hurt Souji!!!!!!!!]

As uncouth as it is, it's only natural for young animals to do such a thing, correct? [Of course, Saitou is a pure maiden and even Hijikata would know that he's getting flustered just thinking about it. He can barely do romance but he just now witnessed something not meant for his innocent little eyes!!! Just be gentle with him.]

Of course I'm upset! Did you not see- [ no, wait. Saitou's right. Hijikata pauses mid sentence to lower his voice, eyebrows furrowed as his stares at Saitou, back at Souji pup who's in his grasp, then Saitou again. now in a more hushed volume just so Saitou can hear: ]

Did you not see what they were doing!? [ okay. okay, Hijikata is sure Saitou didn't even mean for this to happen, it's not like he has 100% control over puppies. with a sigh he finally calms down his tone once and for all (for Now). ]

Sorry, Saitou. [ but now Yukimura pup is distressed that Hijikata took Souji pup away from her! She scrambles to Hijikata and tries to climb up his kimono with nonstop yapping as a protest to let Souji down. ugh, if this keeps going on people will eventually hear! ]

Shh! Be quiet! [ that doesn't help. but he's not letting Souji down YET! he looks over to Saitou. ] Okay. Maybe we should train them...

It's all right. I understand where your stress may have come from, however it's still important to keep your cool no matter the situation. [Hence Saitou's usually stern expression. If Hijikata took some of his own Ishida Sanyaku to calm his nerves, he's certain it'd work!! He'll be sure to bring it up another time, but for now--]

I'll be the one to take the responsibility for it, Vice Commander. [That's not to say Hijikata shouldn't join him...] First thing's first, perhaps it's best to let Souji down. Yukimura doesn't seem to like how rough you're being with him. [Tsk, tsk, tsk... smh...]

I don't know what it means to train a dog, but I'm certain they can grow to be powerful warriors someday. [Just... they gotta learn how to pee in the right spot and all that jazz, BUT that's besides the point! They will be excellent warriors in their adulthood, Saitou will make sure of it!!!!]

[ SIGH... ]

Yeah. You're right.

[ True, Yukimura does not like Souji being this high up, and away from her! look at that poor puppy, she's so stressed. the yapping just will not stop! Hijikata hesitates though, mostly because he doesn't want to see the same display they saw earlier because lord, that was... you know.

So Hijikata sits back down, but he's still holding Souji pup in his arms. he's not going to let this rascal get away again just in case! but now Yukimura is trying to crawl all over his lap... ]

... ... ... I feel like it's going to take awhile for them to even listen to us. [ how do you train a dog? Sure, Hijikata grew up as a simple ol farm boy but they grew plants, not animals. ]

Let's see... Yukimura- stop it- calm down! [ geez! ] Can't we teach them tricks, or something? [ that's what you do, right. get them to listen to you through tricks and commands and whatnot... ]

Open RP post

vice commander!!!!!!!!!!

saitouuuuuuuu!!! >:)

hijikataaaaaaaaa!!!!!! -san

AAAAA SAITOU WE CANT KEEP THESE :(

AAAAAAAAAA HIJIKATA SAN ):

SAITOU DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT :-(

LOOKS AT YOU WITH MY BIG PUPPY EYES 8(

covers your face with your scarf not today

AAAAA AAAAAWHY

AAAAAAAAAAAA WHY SOUJI PIDDLED

HE LIKES YOU

I DIDNT ASK FOR THIIIIIIIS

IT'S TOO LATE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SAITOU IM LOSING MY MIND

HIJIKATASAN OUR KIDS ARE LOOSE

WHOS DAD AND WHOS MOM

IM MOM BECAUSE YOU SUCK

I WANT A DIVORCE

NO!!!!!!!

WHY THE HECK NOT

BECAUSE! NO!

saitou... i never knew u were so determined to keep this family together

our beautiful family hijikata san...

where is my divorce where is my divorce where is my divorce where is my divorce

D:

what did i say about giving me those faces...

I'm sorry I can't help it ):

AAAAAAAAAAA WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN

CALM DOWN

HOW CAN I CALM DOWN IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS!!! ima lose my mind

FINDS UR MIND BEFORE YOU LOSE IT ):

my mind is lost forever good bye saitou remember me fondly...